[Arts] Pearly Gates

[Legio]

Author: Perkele
Original Thread: Pearly Gates

Pearly Gates

When a truck driving some 80 miles per hour crosses lanes, and collides with another car driving 80 miles per hour the result is quite often death. As it was in my case. My Audi was completely wrecked, and the fact that I wasn't wearing my seat belt wasn't of much help either. The paramedics covered up what little was left of my mangled body, and an hour or so later the remnants of my body were transported to the morgue by some guys in a black car. The blood and the small pieces that were not worth collecting were hosed to the gutter, where birds, worms, bacteria and such would feed on them.

Then there were other concerns, such as Will, funerals etc. Not concerns of mine luckily. I can't say that I was all that disappointed, I wasn't living quite the life I wanted to live. I had done the normal routine; lots of school and then lots of work. I was at the age where people usually get married, buy a house and have some kids and maybe a dog. To tell the truth that was my next goal. Of course I had wanted something else: a life of a rockstar, or a moviestar, or top athlete. It's just that I never got around to doing those things, I always came up with excuses.

I must admit that I was somewhat relieved that there was life after death, I had had my doubts about it all. However I guess that somewhere in the back of my brain I always believed in the afterlife; Heaven, Hell, God and such. Back in the old days people had believed that sky was where Heaven was. Of course it wasn't there, I wasn't quite sure where it was actually. I had just closed my eyes, and there I was, standing in front of the Pearly Gates. It's quite funny actually how I was able to still do that; close my eyes. I wondered what all this meant, had I simply transported to another dimension? I knew there were four dimensions. Well I'm not quite sure actually about the 4th dimension, but apparently something called tesseract had four dimensions. I figured that my living body existed in the three dimensions, my soul in the 4th or 5th or some other dimension, and that ment Heaven had to exist in a completely separate plane of existance.

I wonder though, why were the Pearly Gates necessary? I mean the gate itself, was it there to keep the unwanted elements out? It didn't really look all that formidable, and while there seemed to be lots of people around the gate I couldn't see any guards anywhere. Maybe it was just a symbol, something like 'here starts a new life'. Or maybe it was ment to keep people from leaving. Perhaps it marked the boundaries of Heaven. Although I wasn't sure if Heaven had any boundaries. In the end I came to the conclusion that there was only one way to find out.

However, just as I was just about to step into the place called Heaven someone or something tapped my shoulder. ”Sir, I'm afraid there's been a mistake of some sort,” it said. It, because I am not quite sure if angels should be called a he or a she, as they are not humans. Anyways, I answered with a grunt that sounded something like 'Huh'.
”I need you to come with me,” it said with that same lovely voice. I said 'okay', and followed the angel. I wasn't quite sure where we went, or how we went there, we just walked a bit and suddenly we were someplace completely else.
”This is not hell, is it,” I asked.
”No sir. This is the waiting room.” The creature said.
”Ah, Limbo. So how long do I need to burn for the sins I have done?”
”No sir, not Limbo. Just a waiting room.”
”I don't get it. Waiting room for what?”
”Well sir, something went horribly wrong in your case, and we have to figure out what it was. And while we figure that out, you need to wait here.”
”What do you mean something went wrong? I'm totally lost here.”
”Well sir, we have reason to suspect that you shouldn't be in Heaven.”
I tried to say something but couldn't, thousands of thoughts tried to make themselves aware in my brains at the same time. The first one of them to be recognized by me was irony. I mean it was quite ironic. In my life I had wanted to be something else, somewhere else. And now, I again wanted to be somewhere else. I almost got there, even if by mistake.

For a few seconds I thought about trying to do something about the matter, like running away, but as usual I found plenty of good excuses not to do so. Perhaps this time they were a bit more than excuses, as I didn't even know how I could get out of this room. Though I guess the main point would still be the fact that I didn't even try.

Once I came back from my thoughts the creature announced that it would have to go and consult upper management, and I should sit down to wait.
So I sat down, and took a magazine from a nearby rack and started reading it. There were all kinds of interesting articles in the magazine. How to please your man and such. Must have been Heaven's version of Cosmopolitan. Luckily the angel came back soon enough and asked me to follow him, which I did, although a bit reluctantly. I took a few steps and was in another place, again with little idea how I got there. It looked like a standard office, and indeed it was an office.
”Sit please,” said the angel who was sitting in the office behind a normal sized office desk.
So I sat down.
”We have a bit of a problem here. It seems that we have made a mistake, and you shouldn't be in Heaven at all.”
”Yes, I heard that already. So are you sending me to Hell then? I don't get why---”
”No, not quite. You shouldn't be in Hell either. Or Purgatory, Limbo or whatever you want to call it. See, you weren't supposed to die yet.”
”So, eh, what?”
”Right now you should be at home, watching tv.”
”What?”
”But I am afraid it's a bit too late to change that. And we can't quite make a miracle recovery because most of your body is a bloody mess and the rest is God knows where.”
”How is this even possible? Shouldn't God, like know and predict everything?”
”Yeah, well let's not go there. This is not an issue that is in His hands, or one that He would even think about. Anyways, the thing is we need to send you back some way.”
”What way? You just said it's too late for that. And besides, can't I just stay here?”
”No, you can't. Each soul is meant to stay on Earth for a certain time, yours is not even nearly up yet. So we can't send you back as a human, but we can do something.”
”And what would that be?”
”Well, we attach your soul to another living being.”
”Another human you mean? How would that work out?”
”Well that wouldn't work out. A human being can only have one soul, those are the rules. Besides, you only get here once the body dies, and it would be very hard to find another human being with the same remaining life expectancy.”
”So what then?”
”You'll see, for a moment at least,” the creature said and waved it's hand. A gesture I am sure, just like magicians do, but nevertheless my vision soon blurred and then everything turned black. The creature said something else still but I could make little of it, something about animals, stupidity and souls. I then drifted away.

When I came back to being I was up in the sky. Literally, gliding and circling above what seemed to be a wreckage of some sort. The area seemed familiar. I felt hunger in my stomach, and decided to glide in a bit more to see if there was anything edible closer in. It was easy really, flying that is. Thinking seemed to be a bit harder now. I had hard time remembering who I was and what had happened to me. As if instincts were taking over and intelligence simply vanishing.
I didn't care much for that. I was hungry and there seemed to be something to eat down there. Bits of flesh. I decided to get them before anyone else could.