What should I do?

[PurpleScotch]

Hi guys,

Please for the sake of the thread, don't make this a flame war I'm just looking for some advice.

Okay, so there's this girl I'm after and we're both under 18. A while back there was another guy after her, and he wasn't a minor...as in 20+. Then they both fought and it was my chance because I was the only one after her, then a day back she remembered him and she was confused again and it's even harder than before, cuz she likes him more now...and I don't want to give up on her, really need to win her.

Anyways, I don't know how to convince this girl to leave him (he cheated on her before and lied to her and stuff). Please guys need help on this one.

NOTE: Please not the leave her stuff, I'm really after her, and I want to convince her, what's the best way?

Thank you, peace.

[Farnan]

Sorry man, but you're going to have a tough time finding good advice for you here. The UAE and Middle East has different customs than the European-based cultures that many of us hail from.

[RZZZA]

Well, you think maybe she cant stop being attracted to that other guy because hes dangerous and exciting, and even though he treats her bad, she might kinda like it...?


Its a cycle with these girls, these girls who find themselves attracted to guys that treat them like %#^$....first they go after the dangerous and exciting :wub: guy, then when they get tired of the abuse they go after the calm, nice guy. then they get bored of that guy and go back to the dangerous :wub:.

[Primvs Sextvs Loverlord]

Loyalty .. I've known girls who've still loved and gone back for guys who've cheated on them ... Especially if it's an older guy .. If you have to "convince" the girl to let go of the memory of the guy, it's a lost-cause already ...

I'm sorry if I sound cynical but that's just how it is.

[Mighty]

Well hmm, ofcourse, expose your enemies faults. Im not an expert but to tear her away from him, make her hate him. And tell her she cant live like that with him, and stuff.
Then if you get the chance, prove to her that you are the opposite of your foe. Give her what he doesn't, she might feel it.

Try and try.
"When a man does his best, what else is there?" Gen.George S.Patton

Well, I tried, and I am no expert unfortunately. But good golden luck

[RZZZA]

I just think girls are attracted to the badboy because of the excitement, and they get attracted to the nice guy because of how well he treats her...but theyll bounce back and forth for a while until they decide to ultimately settle for the nice guy.

If youre the nice guy then try to become a bit more bad and exciting. That way youll be the nice guy who also knows how to be dangerous, every girl in a 10 mile radius will come after you like in those Axe commericals.

[Primvs Sextvs Loverlord]

During my school days, I spent almost a year with a girl who kept falling in and out of love with an older guy. She was always "unsure" about the situation and ultimately, I got sick of it and I'm happy I moved on although I still regret wasting almost a year on her. Needless to say, it's been around 6 years and they're still together.

[Mighty]

I just think girls are attracted to the badboy because of the excitement, and they get attracted to the nice guy because of how well he treats her...but theyll bounce back and forth for a while until they decide to ultimately settle for the nice guy.

If youre the nice guy then try to become a bit more bad and exciting. That way youll be the nice guy who also knows how to be dangerous, every girl in a 10 mile radius will come after you like in those Axe commericals.

Thing is, he shouldn't just change himself and appear something he isnt. I suggest, but I might be wrong, that he remains true and steadfast

[PurpleScotch]

Sorry man, but you're going to have a tough time finding good advice for you here. The UAE and Middle East has different customs than the European-based cultures that many of us hail from.

You have a bad impression, would a priest in a church date? No. Would a member of a european town of the same church date a girl, most probably yes.

Same goes with the middle-east.

Hehe did you ever hear of the Arab love poems written in the middle-ages (mostly around the times of the abbasids and onwards)


Thanks for you're advice guys, let's hope I find out a way to make her feel so bad against him.

[Farnan]

You have a bad impression, would a priest in a church date? No. Would a member of a european town of the same church date a girl, most probably yes.

Same goes with the middle-east.



Thanks for you're advice guys, let's hope I find out a way to make her feel so bad against him.

I'm not saying dating isn't allowed in the ME (except Saudi Arabia, but they are crazy anyway), but different cultural norms are more accepted. Your from the Dubai which is far more liberal than other parts, so maybe their advice might work.

[RZZZA]

Thing is, he shouldn't just change himself and appear something he isnt. I suggest, but I might be wrong, that he remains true and steadfast

Everyone has a little good and bad in them, you dont have to change yourself much, one side could be dominant one day and the other dominant the other day.

By "bad" I dont mean you should treat her bad, I mean you should appeal to her bad girl side because ALL girls have a bad girl side, and they want to satisfy that side when they chase after the badboy. So you have to fill that need for her when you sense she's after some excitement.

[Mighty]

I wonder what 'bad' people look for

[Chaigidel]

I would drop it and move on --- relationships are inherently temporary.

[MasterInquisitor]

Don't make her hate him, or she may cry loads and drift even further away from him, and she may blame you for them not being together.

Honestly, be yourself...I think that girls prefer honest men than macho guys showing off (I know I do). Don't jump in at the deep end either - both of you seem to know each other, so why don't you invite her out for something friendly - i.e. cinema, not dinner. If she seems uncomfortable with it, ask her if she wants to bring a friend, that way you can ask the friend privately if she could help you out (if she's willing to), and if she is with a friend, she'll be more relaxed and open to talk to you about stuff, and you can get to know her better (but don't jump in with why she likes that other guy, it's a tad aggressive).

Hope that helps

[PurpleScotch]

You do have a point Master.

[MasterInquisitor]

Thanks
My Agony Aunt service is readily available whenever...I'm online.

[RZZZA]

The type of girls I hang around certainly dont prefer the nice, honest guy to the dangerous and exciting :wub:. They befriend the nice guy and date the :wub:.


I think its a cycle, the girl who likes the dangerous :wub: wil bounce around from the nice guy to the :wub: for a long while, usually. Thats at the age when girls dont know what they want, you may b past that age already.

[PacSubCom]

Either she likes you, or she doesn't. If the latter, bye bye. It's really that simple. You should be certain of it after a few weeks. If not, bye bye.

The do you don't you will you won't you stuff is fun for a short time, but only a short time, after that it's a waste of time. Kiddie stuff, if extended. Women should not engage in kiddie stuff, and if they do, they aren't women but little girls. And little girls can go.

[MasterInquisitor]

I still find bean bags amusing, and I am not a little girlie-girl.

Girls just wanna have fun. Show her she's missing out..just be nice to her. Respect all the way. Just not gangsta stylee.

[RZZZA]

youre 18 and you dont consider yourself a little girlie girl? I beg to differ, 18 is nothing. I'm 19 and I think around age 28 is considered to be the new maturation milestone.

P.S. at some point niceness can be mistaken for weakness, I'm just saying...be nice but only to a certain point, just like be bad but only to a certain point. It takes tact and an understanding of nuance, good luck.