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Thread: So where's the afro-germanic, screeching female laser mammoth in a wheelchair throwing heads?

  1. #1

    Default So where's the afro-germanic, screeching female laser mammoth in a wheelchair throwing heads?

    As we all know, CA have always felt the urge to add ridulously stupid fantasy unit concepts for some misguided neo-fascist ideology that calling itseld 'political correctness',

    I haven't followed R2 very closely, as RTW 1 was one of the worst titles in the series due to pre-nerfed tech trees for non-graeco-roman civilizations in a 'what if' sandbox.

    Whilst I'm pretty sure they maintain their narrow-minded view on the latter, I'm quite confident they wont disappoint in the former.

    So what's known about the amount of retarded units that need to be modded out?

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  2. #2

    Default Re: So where's the afro-germanic, screeching female laser mammoth in a wheelchair throwing heads?

    There won't be any. A nice CA chap has stated they won't be making any unit up.

  3. #3
    GussieFinkNottle's Avatar Domesticus
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    Default Re: So where's the afro-germanic, screeching female laser mammoth in a wheelchair throwing heads?

    There are a few loopy units:

    -Someone playing the prologue opened the encyclopaedia and found Amazon units, if you want to know just how ridiculous this is open this link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qow7RCAqHdc
    -Burning pigs and wardogs are back
    -Monstrous barbarian troop carrying warships twice the size of a quinquireme
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

    -Ships with outboard motors (insanely fast)
    -Egyptians wearing eyeliner: http://wiki.totalwar.com/images/7/77/EgyptPikemen.png and Egyptians on biblical Pharaoh-era chariots: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_zQIFpmdPDc
    -and barbarians with ridiculous pecs: http://wiki.totalwar.com/images/9/9b/PaintedOnes.jpg

    I will give them this, however: the vast majority of units are well-researched and visually impressive
    Last edited by GussieFinkNottle; August 27, 2013 at 08:30 PM.
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  4. #4

    Default Re: So where's the afro-germanic, screeching female laser mammoth in a wheelchair throwing heads?

    Quote Originally Posted by Eofor View Post
    I honestly can't tell whether or not the OP is being sarcastic or serious.
    Amongst other Comicalities, RTW 1 included Head Hurlers, Screeching Women and Burning Pigs and there were Cannon Elephants in M2TW.

    The TW series always desparately tried to include female units as well, so whilst the original question was intentionally asked in a somewhat sarcastical manner due to the experience of previous TW games, it is absolutely serious.

    Thanks to Gussie, the only person who apparently got it.

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    King_Porus's Avatar Senator
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    Default Re: So where's the afro-germanic, screeching female laser mammoth in a wheelchair throwing heads?

    You could have asked the question in a less bizarre manner, and if you had, I would have said: Yes, yes there will be fantasy units as there have been in every single Total War game to date. I'm sure they'll get modded out pretty fast if you care about it, I wouldn't mind most of it, but whatever floats your boat (your massive barbarian boat that is).
    Last edited by King_Porus; August 27, 2013 at 09:02 PM.

  6. #6

    Default Re: So where's the afro-germanic, screeching female laser mammoth in a wheelchair throwing heads?

    Quote Originally Posted by GussieFinkNottle View Post
    The eyeliner is accurate. People in Egypt still wear kohl as a natural method for reducing glare from the sun.

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    Default Re: So where's the afro-germanic, screeching female laser mammoth in a wheelchair throwing heads?

    Quote Originally Posted by Niccolo Machiavelli View Post
    Amongst other Comicalities, RTW 1 included Head Hurlers, Screeching Women and Burning Pigs and there were Cannon Elephants in M2TW.

    The TW series always desparately tried to include female units as well, so whilst the original question was intentionally asked in a somewhat sarcastical manner due to the experience of previous TW games, it is absolutely serious.

    Thanks to Gussie, the only person who apparently got it.
    Does Rome 2 include Head Hurlers, Screeching Women and Burning Pigs?
    No. Happy? But there's no way you didn't know that already, if you're writing in this forum. That's why your writing looks like trolling.

    What kind of fantasy female unit did NTW have?

    RTW was the worst game in the series according to whom? To you?

    Were the fantasy units (mostly for barbarians) included in RTW due to political correctness or rather for balancing reasons, so that all factions could have good rosters?

    If CA are neo-fascists, what are you doing here???
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    GussieFinkNottle's Avatar Domesticus
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    Default Re: So where's the afro-germanic, screeching female laser mammoth in a wheelchair throwing heads?

    Quote Originally Posted by D E C View Post
    Does Rome 2 include Burning Pigs?
    No.
    Yes. It does.
    And there is a 'fantasy female unit', as well as unrealistically high numbers of female agents. I'm not saying fantasy is the norm, but you can't deny it is there, as always, plus easter eggs, as always (since you brought up NTW, the 'cryptographer' ancillary is a good example. Look it up)
    Last edited by GussieFinkNottle; August 27, 2013 at 09:42 PM.
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    Default Re: So where's the afro-germanic, screeching female laser mammoth in a wheelchair throwing heads?

    I don't really know any female fantasy units from Rome 2...
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    Default Re: So where's the afro-germanic, screeching female laser mammoth in a wheelchair throwing heads?

    Quote Originally Posted by D E C View Post
    I don't really know any female fantasy units from Rome 2...
    Amazons. Look at the post above
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    baldrick13's Avatar Semisalis
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    Default Re: So where's the afro-germanic, screeching female laser mammoth in a wheelchair throwing heads?

    Quote Originally Posted by GussieFinkNottle View Post


    -Burning pigs are back
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P3ALwKeSEYs

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    Default Re: So where's the afro-germanic, screeching female laser mammoth in a wheelchair throwing heads?

    I still haven't seen any Amazons myself... A Scythian female warrior unit could be authentic.
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    Default Re: So where's the afro-germanic, screeching female laser mammoth in a wheelchair throwing heads?

    CA has stated that if a unit is mentioned once within a historical text it's fair game.
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    Default Re: So where's the afro-germanic, screeching female laser mammoth in a wheelchair throwing heads?

    I like how he begins the post with 'As we all know' then takes the neo-fascist line.
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    Quote Originally Posted by IlluminatiRex View Post
    CA has stated that if a unit is mentioned once within a historical text it's fair game.

    They didn't say that about my beautiful Sambuca Siege!
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    This btw, is my 420 post.
    Last edited by omzdog; August 27, 2013 at 10:13 PM.

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    Default Re: So where's the afro-germanic, screeching female laser mammoth in a wheelchair throwing heads?

    Quote Originally Posted by GussieFinkNottle View Post
    There are a few loopy units:

    -Someone playing the prologue opened the encyclopaedia and found Amazon units, if you want to know just how ridiculous this is open this link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qow7RCAqHdc
    -Burning pigs and wardogs are back
    -Monstrous barbarian troop carrying warships twice the size of a quinquireme
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

    -Ships with outboard motors (insanely fast)
    -Egyptians wearing eyeliner: http://wiki.totalwar.com/images/7/77/EgyptPikemen.png and Egyptians on biblical Pharaoh-era chariots: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_zQIFpmdPDc
    -and barbarians with ridiculous pecs: http://wiki.totalwar.com/images/9/9b/PaintedOnes.jpg

    I will give them this, however: the vast majority of units are well-researched and visually impressive
    Ships didn't look that fast in Heir of Carthage's latest video.

    It is actually debated whether Amazons existed or not. Even on this forum. There were, historically, Scythian women that fought in battle but CA's representation is probably more fantasy than reality. Let's just hope they don't have stupid abilities and that they are wearing accurate armor.

    The barbarians don't have unrealistic physical appearances. They're pretty slender compared to body builders.

    The barbarian ships, although beautifully made, are out of the time frame.

  16. #16
    GussieFinkNottle's Avatar Domesticus
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    Default Re: So where's the afro-germanic, screeching female laser mammoth in a wheelchair throwing heads?

    Quote Originally Posted by Dan113112 View Post
    1 Ships didn't look that fast in Heir of Carthage's latest video.

    2 It is actually debated whether Amazons existed or not.

    3 The barbarians don't have unrealistic physical appearances. They're pretty slender compared to body builders.
    1 Those who have played the game have commented that they go at a crazy speed in comparison to the infantry, and I invite you to look at the speed of triremes in this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature...halx7bnQ#t=119

    2 Not in serious academic circles it's not. The only possibility is that a few Scythian/Sarmatian women might have fought. There was absolutely no way a tribe of warrior women

    3 Yes they do. Those muscles are anything but 'slender' and comparing ancient warriors to people who pump weights all day is ludicrous. Those kind of muscles only develop normally when there are specialised exercise machines and weights available. Watch pre-eighties movies and you'll notice the actors don't have the chests they do today. This was the situation for millenia, and particularly ancient warriors who have no idea how to tone muscles would not look like this. Roman statuary shows that even the athletic did not have ridiculous muscles like that:
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
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  17. #17
    AngryTitusPullo's Avatar Comes Limitis
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    Default Re: So where's the afro-germanic, screeching female laser mammoth in a wheelchair throwing heads?

    Keep the discussion on what units are fantasy or counter argument why the units are not fantasy. Further off-topics posting will penalized.


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