Funny moments in your battles/campaigns?

**Wheem** · May 28, 2006, 11:27 AM

Thought it might be fun if we shared things that happened to us in our various games that we found humerous

I've had RTW for ages now, but only had BI for a couple days. Last night, I was playing around a little with the Western Roman Empire (grrr, economic issues), and had something happen during my defense of Carthage that tickled me.

I only had one unit of Peasants, one Foederati Infantry, and one Limitanei, defending the city. The Berbers attacked with one unit of their spearmen (Hillmen, I think they're called), one unit of Berber Axemen, one unit of Moorish cavalry, and their general. I had nothing nearby to relieve the siege (darn economy in the crapper), so I just let em come (knew I had 0 chance to sally). And sure enough, they attacked my walls, with one siege tower.

Little did I know, this particular siege tower model had some built in artillery, and tore my foederati up pretty bad, on their way in (did a bit of damage to my Limitanei as well). The battle on the walls was epic, on a small scale, with many brave men dying. As the battle rages on, it becomes apparent that Im going to (barely) defeat his infantry forces atop my walls, and leave his cavalry in the field, helpless! But, what's this? On my left flank, ONE single man from the Hillman unit, still alive...He kills the single peasant figure standing adjacent to him, and then bolts for the gates (while my remaining handfull of men are finishing off the remaining Axemen). Sure enough, he captures the gates, and rushes his Moorish cavalry forward. I race to recapture the gates, but alas, am mere seconds too late (I recaptured, just in time to dump oil on the last few men to pass through). The Moors then proceeded to race through the city streets, and reach the town square with 40 horsemen (of the original 54) remaining - at least the towers/oil made them pay a small cost

.

With my tiny handful of troops, I was powerless to kill them, but it didnt matter, as the victory timer counted down before I got there.

Maybe Im just a nerd, but I found it quite humerous that my "heroic victory" was turned around by a single infantryman racing to the gatehouse, and opening the gates for his cavalry (though the general kept sitting in the open field)

Of course, even if I had won, Im sure Carthage would have revolted the next turn, since I had so few men left alive in the Garrison.

**HappeR** · May 28, 2006, 02:44 PM

I once had a situation like that, there was a big battle on the walls, and on one side of my gatehouse the enemy had barely won, on the other they were being beaten badly. There was a unit of archters standing before my walls, they were badly hurt by my towers. Some enemies went down the gatehouse and were beaten by my cavalry. The turning of my cav. opened the gate for a short time. I was lucky it closed immediately. But the archer(s) had noticed. There were only 2 of them left when they ran to my (closing) gate. In their 'run' 1 of them got killed by arrows. The other one was not able to make it before the gate closed. The archer stood before the closed gate and got killed by the oil.

Another funny situation was when 3 enemy soldiers didn't want to leave their siege tower and I couldn't get out of the city due to the cavalry danger.

**guyyug** · May 29, 2006, 04:34 AM

this wasnt on bi but on rtw using rtr, i had the worst economy, had the selecuids, the egyptians, greek cities, thraceians and liiyans and carthage at war with me, i was defending on all fronts, the the seleciuds asked me to become their protectrate which i acceppted to releive perrsure, guess what, all my enermys were allied to them expect greek cities so cease fire with all get trade rights with all, so it sorted out my economy, i came back with vengence, eygptians gone, next on my list the selecuids casue they commited war on me again, thrace and illyans are going against romans

**wubbs77** · June 12, 2006, 04:26 PM

I had a darthmod custom field battle in which I was ridiculously outnumbered by two enemy armies. I managed to fight first one then the other.

I dispatched the first one with fairly heavy losses, and during the course of the second battle, all my troops but one unit of horse archers, and one of heavy cavalry routed.

the second enemy army still had perhaps 14 formed units of spearmen, archers, and one unit of light cavalry.

Even though their troops were "fresh" and "eager," I was able to slowly but surely use my two remaining units of cavalry to pick apart the enemy army, and rout each unit in turn.

after the first 4 or so were driven off, my horse archers couldn't take it anymore, and routed -- leaving the heavy cavalry all by itself. Somehow that one unit of cavalry managed to rout the entire remaining ten or so units of enemy spearmen one by one and I ended up winning the battle.

literally it was 20 vs. 1,000, and they beat the crap out of the enemy troops. Battle difficulty was on VH too! (to be fair, I had dumped a lot of experience on that cavalry unit, knowing it would be my shock weapon). Still though,

Merged double post. - Trajan

Oh...Another classic from right after RTW vanilla came out, I chased an entire roman army into the ocean and they all drowned. Here's one of the screenies. Don't know what happened to the good ones...

[IMG]

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**Zhuge_Liang** · June 12, 2006, 04:52 PM

In one of may battles i killed all of the enemy except the general who was running away. Unfortunately my troops that were chasing him got exhausted just before cutting him down and so they chased him half way across the battlefield with him only being a few inches in front of them. It was so damn funny with all of my surviving army running after one man who was only just infront of them - like something out of a comedy film. I took a screen at the time, but because he was so close to my men you could hardy see him against the backdrop of the masses of troops hunting after him.

**Wheem** · June 12, 2006, 09:35 PM

Hah, I've never seen an army drown itself like that, routing or not

**HappeR** · June 13, 2006, 11:09 AM

One time I fought a big army in a bridge battle. With a nasty trick (put a unit of hoplites in front of the bridge) I managed to hold them off without casualties. My reinforcements arrived BEHIND the enemy. All the enemy soldiers were trying to get across that bridge, many of them fell off. The reinforcements had a nice cavalry unit, so I attacked the enemy in the back with it. The result of this was that I managed to kill off an army of 3000 men when I had an army of like 200. The funny part of this was that the river was filled with enemy soldiers (literally) and there were no bodies on the bridge.

In another bridge battle of mine I had two units of Elephants, but no hoplites. So I waited for the enemy to start crossing the bridge, and when they were halfway I sent in the elephants. I killed some very experienced roman legions, but I also had a complete elephant unit running into the water next to the bridge and drowning. The floating elephants looked so damn funny

**Trajan** · June 13, 2006, 06:01 PM

Guys, please post only your funny moments in your Barbarian Invasion campaigns/battles. If you want to post your funny moments in your Rome Total War campaigns/battles, please create a thread for it in the RTW: General Discussion.

**wubbs77** · June 14, 2006, 05:38 PM

Originally Posted by Wheem

Hah, I've never seen an army drown itself like that, routing or not

lol. I haven't seen it since. I think maybe they fixed that behavior in the patches. It was awesome though. The screen shot I found shows only a couple of their units drowing (although you can see a trail further down the beach). I had one that showed the whole army wading into the sea. Pretty funny.

**Steeven** · June 22, 2006, 03:22 PM

Well, at one time me and my army of 500 men stood against a army of 1500 men. The problem was that my army had already suffered heavy casualties in numerous battles and I wanted to retrain them, but got ambushed. I really did not want to lose these soldiers with huge experience, so I made the same move Alexander did: I rushed for his general, killed him and routed his army. It was amazing, because it worked. I was outflanked, outnumbered and only had one chance. While my infantry rushed to several tactical positions on the enemy's army, and clashed together, my general's cavalry rushed between some gaps that were made, straight for the enemy general. I finished him off early, attacked some infantry in the backs and they starting running. Man was I proud, I though I was gone for

.

**Marcus Septim IV** · June 22, 2006, 03:35 PM

ok a its always funny to see a full squad of 40 soldiers fall from the wall - i want to know did there was an earth qUake

**Sneakyviper343** · November 12, 2016, 03:53 AM

I was playing with the Greeks on RTW. I was quite far in the campaign, I had taken all of Greece, Pontus, Armenia and Most the Middle East and was going on to conquer Egypt. I was at war with the Seleucid's. I was going crush their final army and put all of the Middle East under my thumb. The Battle was set. It was 1 Full stack Vs Another full stack. We both had mostly half Phalanx troops and half archers. My General was 36 and the best in all the empire. He had something like 9 Command, 7 Management and 8 Influence. So he was pretty sick.

The Battle started and it was literally just phalanx against phalanx. Slowly inching are lines of troops together to see which spear would touch first. But the funny part is. An enemy Archer Unit was glitching out. And they were sliding across the map. And 1 archer slid around my phalanx units! He then (You will not believe this), slowly slides towards my general. He then, in one blow kills my general outright. I was just in disbelief about what happened. I was so annoyed yet, I have to admit it was as funny as hell...

**RDBurn** · November 12, 2016, 05:18 PM

I was playing as Dacia fighting the Greeks and two full stacks of Greek hoplites appeared next to one of my settlements defended only by a unit of peasants.

They just stood there. For 20 years. Then left.

No complaints here

**eugenioso** · January 06, 2017, 07:02 AM

Goddamn necroing

**Frunk** · January 08, 2017, 12:00 AM

Originally Posted by eugenioso

Goddamn necroing

There is no rule specifically disallowing necro-ing (whether it be 10 years, or, ironically in this case, two months). There is, however, a rule against off-topic posting. Please refrain from further such comments.

Necro-ing is arguably better than making a new thread. It allows for the sharing of information which might otherwise be lost. If you or anybody else has any queries regarding this, feel free PM me.

**SpaceCadet** · January 17, 2017, 01:19 PM

There is nothing funnier to me than ordering an infantry unit to charge and pausing the game right at the point of contact. Every so often you get a charging soldier jumping in the air to deliver a huge sword strike but the charging guy is jumping right near head level. If you pause it just right and zoom in, he is like 5-6 feet off the ground, in full armor with a sword and shield. Who says white men can't jump?