"**** my life"

[DaLeGiOnArY]

Who reads them? http://www.fmylife.com/

this is one of my favorites so far is:

Today, I was playing catch with my 6 year old cousin in the garden, when he demanded a piggy back. Trying to be the good cousin, I did so and he soon shouts "Run! Run!" so I do so. Suddenly he shouts "STOP! My winky's gone pointy". I gave my 6 year old cousin an erection. FML

and this one is the best one!

Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML

[Seleukos]

You took the two least funny of all. Keep this **** clean.

[DaLeGiOnArY]

yeah, those are only the best i found in a few pages. Out of 418 pages.

[Katsumoto]

Haha, that was pretty funny.

[Adhamh Ashashi]

No no no.

I think the funniest one I have ever read was

"Today I found out I was adopted, and my gay brother thought it would be suitable to tell me I am his perfect soul mate"

[DaLeGiOnArY]

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend humping my stuffed rabbit. I thought he was trying to be funny until I saw that he had an erection. FML

[Seleukos]

DaLeGiOnArY, please stay away from the sex jokes, it infringes too closely to the ToS. I dont want to shut this down so soon.

[DaLeGiOnArY]

Today, on my wedding day, when they said "you may kiss the bride", I swung my wife over in the romantic fashion and went in for the kiss. Unfortunately my hands were sweaty as I was nervous and she slipped under my grip. She fell and was knocked unconscious in front of hundreds of people. FML

better?

[Seleukos]

Much.

[DaLeGiOnArY]

You're welcome!

Today, I fractured my knuckle at the gym. My girlfriend offered to drive me to Urgent Care. As I threw my gym bag in the car, my keys flew out of the bag's pocket and hit her in the face. I spent the whole afternoon getting dirty looks from nurses because of my broken hand and her black eye. FML

Today, before I went to bed, I watched a terrifying movie with zombies. I woke up with a headache, a bloody nose, and my mom standing over me frantically asking me what was wrong. Apparently I had been "fighting the zombies off" in my sleep and had been punching myself in the face. FML

[Jehanne d'Arc]

Some nices ones up there

Aww.. The ones about sex are the funniest ones

[DaLeGiOnArY]

There's a limit to everything. Of course, they do have a seperate sexion about sex.

EDIT: LOOOOL i just realized i wrote SEXion.
I meant seCTion.

[Legio]

LOINGLOL
Again, please keep away from the innuendoes..

[DaLeGiOnArY]

'twas but a simple typo, m'lord!

anyway...

Today, I bought a feezer mug that looks like it's full of water. I've been playing tricks on my family and friends by throwing the empty cup at them. After doing this a few dozen times, my 83 year-old mother came to visit. I played the same trick on her. The joke's on me. Somebody filled the cup. FML

Today, I found out that doctors can be wrong. Pink clothes, pink stroller, pink bottles, pink bibs, pink cribs and pink bedding to go with my baby that recently came out with a little pink penis. FML