Requests to native speakers for proof-reading

[Navajo Joe]

JOC,

generals generals be changed to:

'by a General's Generals'

[Jurand of Cracow]

Thanks, Navajo.

The final version will probably be:

{INFO_ARMOUR_BODY}\n There are three special kinds of armour that a General can wear in a battle and in a normal life.
A Strong Armour gives +1 hit point and can be acquired by a decent general (at least 3 Command) while staying in a settlement with an Armourer, and occasionally after a good battle. A newly built Armourer or a Guild may grant one to the governor of the settlement. This kind of armour is versatile – it can be gifted (swapped) to another General.
A Fitted Armour is customized for a particular general thus it is not transferable. It provides +2 hit points. It can be acquired by a very good general (6 or more Command) in a settlement with an Armourer or a Swordsmiths guild. Holder of a ministerial office may get it easier (3+ Command), while a Master Smith may craft it for his master irrespectively of his qualities. It can also be received after a heroic battle or on the occasion of joining a crusade.
An Ornate Armour increases authority and popularity of the general but makes him actually more vulnerable on the battlefield. It can be acquired in larger settlements (with Heavy Armourer, better if Jousting Lists, Racing Tracks of a Swordsmith guild are present) by a general with special characteristics: minister, tourney champion, having expensive tastes or epicurean traits. It may also be gotten as a gift on the occasion of a wedding with a princess (if the faction is capable of crafting is quickly, ie a Plate Armourer building exists somewhere). This is a very expensive armour so the faction has to be rich (15k florins in the coffers) in each instance.
A Master Smith can be befriended in settlements with Armourers and Swordsmith guilds either by a great victor or by a military educated non-xenophobic general. It provides a very valuable discount for training military units.
{ INFO_ARMOUR _TITLE}Armour for a General

[j.a.luna]

Question about the english word of "swordsmith", in the translate meaning that is similar to "Blacksmith" or simply "smith" but in other meanings are smiths of swords(weapons) or swords making... In the game exist several guilds but this is about quality of swords or quality of armours in general( as a simply medieval Blacksmith)???

[Kilo11]

Hey Jurand, I made a couple very small changes (just deleted a couple unnecessary indefinite articles, and things of that nature).


{INFO_ARMOUR_BODY}\n There are three special kinds of armour that a General can wear in battle and in everyday life.
Strong Armour gives +1 hit point and can be acquired by a decent general (at least 3 Command) while staying in a settlement with an Armourer, and occasionally after a good battle. A newly built Armourer or a Guild may grant one to the governor of the settlement. This kind of armour is versatile – it can be gifted (swapped) to another General.
Fitted Armour is customized for a particular general and thus not transferable. It provides +2 hit points. It can be acquired by a very good general (6 or more Command) in a settlement with an Armourer or a Swordsmiths guild. The holder of a ministerial office may get it easier (3+ Command), while a Master Smith may craft it for his master irrespective of his qualities. It can also be received after a heroic battle or on the occasion of joining a crusade.
Ornate Armour increases the authority and popularity of the general, but makes him more vulnerable on the battlefield. It can be acquired in larger settlements (with Heavy Armourer, and more likely if Jousting Lists, Racing Tracks, or a Swordsmiths guild are present) by a general with special characteristics: minister, tourney champion, having expensive tastes, or epicurean traits. It may also be gotten as a gift on the occasion of a wedding with a princess (if the faction is capable of crafting it quickly, i.e. a Plate Armourer building exists somewhere). This is very expensive armour, so the faction has to be rich (15k florins in the coffers) in each instance.
A Master Smith can be befriended in settlements with Armourers and Swordsmith guilds either by a great victor or by a military educated non-xenophobic general. He provides a very valuable discount for training military units.
{ INFO_ARMOUR _TITLE}Armour for a General

Question about the english word of "swordsmith", in the translate meaning that is similar to "Blacksmith" or simply "smith" but in other meanings are smiths of swords(weapons) or swords making... In the game exist several guilds but this is about quality of swords or quality of armours in general( as a simply medieval Blacksmith)???

I am not sure I understand what exactly your question is luna... If your question is simply what the difference is between "swordsmith" and "blacksmith", I believe there is a common connotation that when both words are used, swordsmiths are taken to only make swords (and possibly also other edged weapons, like axes), while blacksmiths are taken to make armors and tools. It is however also possible to only use the word blacksmith, and have it mean that the person makes swords or armor or both.

[j.a.luna]

I am not sure I understand what exactly your question is luna... If your question is simply what the difference is between "swordsmith" and "blacksmith", I believe there is a common connotation that when both words are used, swordsmiths are taken to only make swords (and possibly also other edged weapons, like axes), while blacksmiths are taken to make armors and tools. It is however also possible to only use the word blacksmith, and have it mean that the person makes swords or armor or both.

Yes, it is my question, both words meaning the same, blacksmith and swordsmith is the person that make armours, swords,axes... (General terms)
But in the sship game exist the building of armourer/blacksmith that produce/make only armours(protection) and another building that is a guilt called swordsmith that i understand that only produce/make swords(weapons) as for example the famous medieval swords of Toledo (Spain) and Damascus (Syria), but Jurant text says ""This kind of armour is versatile – it can be gifted (swapped) to another General.
Fitted Armour is customized for a particular general and thus not transferable. It provides +2 hit points. It can be acquired by a very good general (6 or more Command) in a settlement with an Armourer or a Swordsmiths guild"" AND
""It can be acquired in larger settlements (with Heavy Armourer, and more likely if Jousting Lists, Racing Tracks, or a Swordsmiths guild are present) "" reference to ARMOURS... So is suppose that in the game and in medieval eras swordsmiths furthemore of make swords produce also armours...
It is correct?

[Kilo11]

It is not something that has a super definite meaning. Rather, the difference is one of general usage and particular ways of use in some specific context. For example, if you're playing Witcher III, a blacksmith only makes armor, a swordsmith only makes weapons. However, if you're talking about the real world, both will probably make both, and the only difference is that someone who calls himself/herself a swordsmith is probably better at making swords than armor. Same for blacksmiths, who probably make armor better than weapons. But both are still smiths, and so both can work metal, whatever final shape it might take. I would guess that in the game the idea is just that they want there to be some people skilled with metalworking in the relevant province, but you shouldn't read too much into they exact meaning of the words.

[j.a.luna]

It is not something that has a super definite meaning. Rather, the difference is one of general usage and particular ways of use in some specific context. For example, if you're playing Witcher III, a blacksmith only makes armor, a swordsmith only makes weapons. However, if you're talking about the real world, both will probably make both, and the only difference is that someone who calls himself/herself a swordsmith is probably better at making swords than armor. Same for blacksmiths, who probably make armor better than weapons. But both are still smiths, and so both can work metal, whatever final shape it might take. I would guess that in the game the idea is just that they want there to be some people skilled with metalworking in the relevant province, but you shouldn't read too much into they exact meaning of the words.

OK thank you for your clarifying answer Kilo!

[Jurand of Cracow]

Two info windows for a check, pls:

{INFO_MERCHANTS_TITLE}Merchants
{INFO_MERCHANTS _BODY}\n \n The merchants are not numerous in the SSHIP. In the early game you’re likely to have just 1 or 2, and only a few more later. \n \n The limit of the merchants you can recruit increases with each: \n* Market in the initial capital of any initial faction capital; \n* Warehouse in Large Cities in Northern Italy and Dalmatia, and also in the Low Countries; \n* Docklands in any Huge City; \n* Merchant Guild; \n* Adventurers Guilds after the First Rudder is invented (historical event); \n* Hanseatic Guild after the cooperation between Lubeck and Cologne starts (historical event).
{INFO_DIPLOMATS_TITLE}Diplomats
{INFO_DIPLOMATS_BODY}There are few diplomats in the SSHIP. In the early game a medium-sized faction is likely to have just 1 or 2. It all depends on your choices as far as buildings and conquests are concerned. \n\nSpecifically, the limit of the number of diplomats you can recruit will increase with every: \n* City Hall in any initial capital (it means also any enemy capital you would conquer).\n* Explorers' Guild.\n* Theologian Guild (the Latin Europe factions will get this ability only after 4th Lateran Council).* University (the main source of the diplomats).\n\nBear in mind, that the Princesses can also fulfill diplomatic duties. In the SSHIP every generation you will get a Noble Lady who can be used in this role (or be married to a general – it will be your choice).

[King Athelstan]

Regarding merchants -

Market in the initial capital of any initial faction capital

doesn't flow brilliantly, I think something along the lines of "market in any initial faction capital" would be a tad smoother.

Regarding diplomats

Specifically, the limit of the number of diplomats y[...]

- Can just be "the number of diplomats"

Bear in mind, that the Princesses can also fulfill diplomatic duties.

No need for a comma or "the" I believe

In the SSHIP every generation you will get a Noble Lady who can be used in this role (or be married to a general – it will be your choice).

I think "You'll get one Noble Lady for each generation who can be used for this, or be married off" or so will flow better, the "In the SSHIP every generation[..]bugs me a bit.


I'm probably over-analyzing this though

[Lifthrasir]

Don't trust him JoC, he's half Norwegian

On a serious note, thanks Mate

[King Athelstan]

Don't trust him JoC, he's half Norwegian

And half English

And np

[Jurand of Cracow]

Thanks, KA!

[Kilo11]

I think KA's general thoughts are on point, but the crazy Scandinavian didn't give concrete suggestions for alterations. To remedy that, here is my suggested amended text. I've not changed any content, just the structure and presentation to make things more readable.

{INFO_MERCHANTS_TITLE}Merchants
{INFO_MERCHANTS _BODY}\n \n Merchants are not numerous in the SSHIP. In the early game you’re likely to have just 1 or 2, with a small increase as you progress through the campaign. \n \n The maximum number of merchants you can recruit increases with each: \n* Market building in an original factional capital; \n* Warehouse building in a Large City in Northern Italy, Dalmatia, or the Low Countries; \n* Docklands building in any Huge City; \n* Merchants' Guild; \n* Adventurers' Guild (after the historical event "First Rudder is invented"); \n* Hanseatic Guild (after the historical event "Cooperation between Lubeck and Cologne").
{INFO_DIPLOMATS_TITLE}Diplomats
{INFO_DIPLOMATS_BODY}There are few diplomats in the SSHIP. In the early game a medium-sized faction is likely to have only 1 or 2, depending on the player's choices with regards to construction and conquest. \n\nSpecifically, the maximum number of diplomats you can recruit increases with every: \n* City Hall in an original factional capital (i.e. conquered capitals increase the number of diplomats which can be recruited); \n* Explorers' Guild; \n* Theologians' Guild (only available to factions of Latin Europe, and only after the 4th Lateran Council); \n* University (the main source of diplomats).\n\nThe player should bear in mind that Princesses can also fulfill diplomatic duties, and every generation you will get a Noble Lady (i.e. princess) who can be used in this role (or married to a general).

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

KA, I really do love you! I promise!

[Jurand of Cracow]

Thanks, Kilo, implemented.

Now for this one:

{INFO_LEGACIES_BODY}\n\n In the SSHIP the traits of the father and the mother are the most important determinants of the character of their children. This system is quite sophisticated (hundreds of triggers) and is done on purpose: to make you care for your generals and their family. Of course, you may adopt generals from outside or find captains distinguishing themselves in the battlefields, but in most cases they will have inferior traits in comparison to the generals born in the family.\n\n The sons of the faction leaders get additional traits from their fathers because great leaders pass on great legacies. In particular, if the faction leader\n(A) has maximum Authority or Piety,\n(B) won numerous heroic battles and got the trait Renowned Victor,\n(C) has gained the Crown of your faction,\n(D) has ended another faction existence (he is so-called "Faction Killer"),\nhis sons will be held in high esteem by their subjects. As a result, they will have high authority and will be able to get the crown without conquering all the faction territories that are depicted on the map in the faction panel.
{INFO_LEGACIES_TITLE}What father passes on to a son

[Kilo11]

Hey JoC. Taken care of in the usual fashion. Basic concepts and presentation are the same, with minor tweaks for language or consistency. Text is below.


{INFO_LEGACIES_BODY}\n\n The traits of a father and mother can sometimes be the most important determinants of a child's character, and this is no different in the SSHIP. In order to capture this, a sophisticated system (with hundreds of triggers) has been put in place, providing the player with real incentive to care for one's generals and their families. Of course, you may adopt generals from outside the family, or find captains who have distinguished themselves on the battlefield, but in most cases they will have inferior traits in comparison to those generals born into the family.\n\n The sons of faction leaders may also receive additional traits from their fathers. In particular, if the faction leader\n(A) has maximum Authority or Piety,\n(B) has won numerous heroic battles and received the trait Renowned Victor,\n(C) has gained the Crown of your faction, or\n(D) has ended another faction's existence (he is a so-called "Faction Killer"),\n then his sons will be held in high esteem by their subjects. As a result, they will have high authority and will be able to inherit the crown without needing to conquer all the designated territories depicted on the map in the faction panel.
{INFO_LEGACIES_TITLE}What a father passes on to a son

[Jurand of Cracow]

This is a request for correction but please also comment if it's a right in-game hint, if something's missing etc.

{INFO_CAMPAING_HINT_2_TITLE} Bigger is more difficult
{INFO_CAMPAING_HINT_2_BODY}\nThe SSHIP is a game about building up your kingdom in the Middle Ages. You develop your provinces, you keep the settlements happy while squeezing out the money so that you can you recruit troops and pay for their upkeep, you recruit and send agents for missions, you care for your generals and especially for the faction heir and faction leader – all that to be able to raise your armies and to conquer and control new provinces.\n\n
For a small faction the main hurdles in the game is the lack of money and manpower. As the faction grows, these limits fade slowly away but new challenges arise.\n\n
First, MONEY. The further the settlements are from the capital, the higher corruption is. It calls for devoting good generals as governors of these settlements – in this case the +Law benefits matter. From the size of 5 settlements there’re also some additional costs, e.g. when there’s a change of the faction leader or faction heir. One may also note that the kings purse is an important source of income for a small faction (as a percentage of the whole budget), but then this significance dwindle.\n\n
Second, LOYALTY. A larger kingdom means larger distances from the capital for your armies. This translates into lower Loyalty of your generals and a higher likehood of their rebellion. You may counteract by giving them the Ministerial Offices or Provincial Titles or some ancillaries that increase Loyalty. However, from the size 12-15 settlements the Loyalty issues get really hard. The way forward is to get the faction ruler coronated. This comes at a price and is not easy to achieve.\n\n
Third, DIPLOMACY. The bigger factions face negative attitudes of the AI factions – both on bilateral levels and at the general level (reputation). You may need to give more gifts to keep the relations in good shape and you need to expect attacks from different directions.\n\n
Fourth, the importance of DISTANCES. In a small faction one army may secure all borders. In a bigger, it may not get in time to save your city from being conquered. So more armies are needed, even if only for the security reasons. Furthermore, the number of diplomats, merchants or spies rise slower than you expand your kingdom (unless you take time to build many buildings). Beside loss in loyalty, you generals are also likely to get bad traits, like corruption or drinking if they stay away from the ruler’s court.\n\n
Fifth, CIVIL WARS. In a big kingdom a change on the throne prompts the nobles to actively vie for power. This mechanism makes such an event very dangerous for a vast kingdom.

[Kilo11]

This is an interesting idea for an info-scroll Jurand, and I personally like it. I think it is worthwhile to give new players of the SSHIP a warning like this, so that they don't approach it as "just another Med 2 mod", and then get angry when everything falls apart. So I believe the message itself is a good one to send. As always, I've made some tweaks, keeping the underlying content the same while adding some style and clarity. I also changed the name so that it fits a bit more with the feel of the SSHIP presentation overall. Text below:


{INFO_CAMPAING_HINT_2_TITLE} The Dangers of Greatness
{INFO_CAMPAING_HINT_2_BODY}\nThe SSHIP is about building a kingdom amidst the dangers and rivalries of the Middle Ages. Armies must be paid, taxes levied, and agents artfully deployed, all while you manage to keep your subjects happy and your generals and royal line safe and in good health. And for the ruler who manages all these things with wisdom, there will be ever more provinces to be added to your expanding realm.\n\n
For a small faction, the main hurdle is the lack of money and manpower, making early decisions crucial. As the faction grows, these limits slowly fade away, but new challenges arise.\n\n
First, MONEY. The further a settlement is from your capital, the higher its corruption will be. This demands that good generals be sent to govern these settlements – in this case, the +Law benefits matter greatly. Once a faction has 5 or more settlements there arise additional costs as well, e.g. when there is a change of the faction leader or faction heir. One should also note that the king's purse is an important source of income for a small faction (as a percentage of the whole budget), but that this significance dwindles as the realm expands.\n\n
Second, LOYALTY. A larger kingdom means that armies will be fighting further from the capital. This translates into lower Loyalty of your generals and a higher likelihood of rebellion. This may be counteracted by giving generals Ministerial Offices, Provincial Titles, or other ancillaries that increase Loyalty. However, once a kingdom has secured 12-15 settlements Loyalty becomes more difficult to manage. The best way forward is to have your faction ruler officially crowned king through an elaborate coronation ceremony. This comes at a price and is not easy to achieve, but the extravagance will temper the greed of some generals, while increasing the perceived authority of your monarch.\n\n
Third, DIPLOMACY. As a faction grows in size, the attitudes of the AI factions toward it will become increasingly negative – both on bilateral levels and at the general level (reputation). You may need to give more gifts in order to keep friendly relations, and you should learn to expect attacks from different directions.\n\n
Fourth, the importance of DISTANCES. In a small faction, one army may secure all borders. In a bigger faction, a single force may not be able to arrive in time to save your cities from being conquered. As the realm grows, more armies will be needed, even if only for security reasons. Furthermore, your ability to field additional diplomats, merchants, or spies will not rise at the same rate as your border as expanding (unless you take time to build many buildings). Besides loss in loyalty, your generals are also likely to develop bad traits, such as corruption or drinking, if they stay away from the ruler’s court for extended periods.\n\n
Fifth, CIVIL WARS. In a large kingdom a change of rulership may prompt the more ambitious nobles to actively vie for power. This mechanism makes such an event very dangerous for a vast kingdom.